And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
