Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
