I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
