Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
