Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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