Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
