Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
