READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
