I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
