Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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