I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
