Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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