come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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