so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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