Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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