why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
