Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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