just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
