Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
