it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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