Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Fuck appropriateness.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
