My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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