do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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