And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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