I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's shark week go big or go home
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
