he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
