I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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