we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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