What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
