Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
