I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
