Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
