Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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