Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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