This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
