i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
