I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
