i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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