i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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