i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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