do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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