Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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