I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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