You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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