Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
