it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
