there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
