...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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