If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
