He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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