he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Everything about him screamed your future.
vagina is talking i cant
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Pooping to opera.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
