i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
