Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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