guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
