so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
another moral hangover. fuck.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
