Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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