so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You are a genius and a whore.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
